save me from the nothing iv become

yep, i have a new blog.

http://empty-soul00.livejournal.com

i was asked to do another one. hehe.

but i like it.

more user pics too.

but i'll still be updating my tabulas.

haha.

btw, ninang ai, thanks for fixing my lj for me :p

***

pray for me..

i still dont know how to handle myself..

i dont know how to prepare myself for what might come..

then again, how can i?

the future isn't certain?

*sigh*

pray.. have faith.. that's all i can really do right now..

lost_watcher

do you remember me? lost for so long..

my soul cries for deliverance.. will i be denied?

im so tired of being here.. suppressed by all my childish fears..

now im bound by the life you left behind..

wake me up inside..

call my name and save me from the dark..

save me from the nothing i'v become..

lost_watcher

say goodbye - s club 7

In the years to come
Will you think about these moments that we shared

In years to come
Are you gonna think it over
And how we lived each day with no regrets

Nothing lasts forever though we want it to
The road ahead holds different dreams for me and you

Sometimes goodbye, though it hurts in your heart,
is the only way for destiny
Sometimes goodbye, though it hurts,
is the only way now for you and me
Though it's the hardest thing to say
I'll miss your love in every way
So say goodbye
But don't you cry
Cos true love never dies

In a year from now
Maybe there'll be thing we'll wish we'd never said

In a year from now
Maybe we'll see each other
Standing on the same street corner though it rains

Each and every end is always written in the stars
If only I could stop the world
I'd make this last

Sometimes goodbye, so it hurts in your heart,
is the only way for destiny
Sometimes goodbye, so it hurts,
is the only way now for you and me
Though it's the hardest thing to say
I'll miss your love in every way
So say goodbye (so say goodbye)
But don't you cry
Cos true love never dies

And when you need my arms to run into
I'll come for you
Nothing will ever change the way I feel

Sometimes goodbye, so it hurts in your heart,
is the only way for destiny
Sometimes goodbye, so it hurts,
is the only way now for you and me
Though it's the hardest thing to say
I'll miss your love in every day
So say goodbye
But don't you cry
Because a true love never dies  

lost_watcher

go seniors!!!

i love seniors '07 :D 

***

one last year, one more cheer

seniors gonna make it this year

we all know what it's all about

come on seniors let's scream and shout

lost_watcher

wala lang..

masakit lang..

at di ko alam gagawin ko..

pero nga naman..

school work dapat mauna..

tambak pa din ako..

pucha naman kse..

yang entrep pa na yan, dalawa na nga project, meh hw pa..

bwisit..

dami ko iniisip..

di ko naman maiwasan kse kailangan mag-isip para matapos yung mga gagawin ko dba?

ang tanong ko..

dapat din ba isipin ang nararamdaman?

o ibalewala na lang yun?

tutal, binabalewala rin naman ako ng nararamdaman ko..

haha, ang labo pala..

oh well..

changes make everything not clear..

and being quite blind does hurt..

a lot..

*nod*

lost_watcher

i said i'm not in the mood to update my tabulas,

but then i guess i "can't resist"

haha. kidding. trip ko lang iupdate.

it's exactly 4:18 a.m in my time and wow..

i'm not used to it that much anymore :|

usually i sleep at around 3 already..

*sigh*

i really feel so bad now

for a lot of reasons though..

haay..

***

is it worth pondering on?

is it worth my oh-so-not-famous invisible tears?

is it worth my time?

is it worth my heart?

two out of three, yes, i'm quite sure it is.

but the other one-third?

i don't really know..

i knew that part so well..

but still i feel bad because of it..

i feel so..

worthless..

i feel like i'm nothing..

something not really there..

i say i don't know why i hold on to it..

but actually, i do know..

and i hate myself for that..

i can't say cos i'll lose a treasure.

but i really want to know..

do i mean anything to that single part of a third?

i'm so scared of what the answer could be..

that's why i leave my head to hurt everytime it crosses my mind..

i just leave my heart to crush..

cos it hurts to give so much and have almost nothing in return..

but i know no one asked me to do that..

it's just me..

yeah, me and love.

stupid fucking love.

i simply hate how it works sometimes.

it kills me in a way i don't want it to.

***

i just want to escape..

but i know i can't..

it will keep on haunting me..

until who knows when..

***

and maybe, just maybe..

i'll figure out some stuff i need to sort out..

if i'll actually permit myself to do so..

***

finally i have to sign off..

it's fucking 4:35 a.m and i still need to do a general cleaning of my room tmw..

or rather, later..

good luck for later until forever, kari.

lost_watcher

please pray for my lola..

she had cardiac arrest knina..

died for 5 mins, was revived..

hayhay..

okay na dapat xa eh..

naging okay na ung condition, then she sorta choked khpon..

mas matagal pa tuloy xa stay sa hospital..

my god, almost half a million na ata ang bill..

wawa naman kme..

tsk2..

hehe..

pero bkt ako tumawa?

hay, patawarin na po..

msaket na ulo ko..

at wala na naman ako sa sarili ko..

bket?

dhel naluha ako..

ngayon lng..

but not bcos of my lola..

hehe..

now i know why i dont like to cry anymore..

kse..

i lose myself..

it gets stolen..

when i remove my mask..

so big no no..

hmm.. parang ang labo.. hay ewan.

but i guess, when im alone..

is okay right?

haha..

jusco, baliw na naman ako.

bwct.

i gotta get a grip on myself again.

dammit.

cge lng, mood swing na naman ako.

tss.

never mind.

never mind me.